Just a little longer
by Axelxlea1
Summary: "I didn't know what was happening to me. I wasn't happy. I hadn't smiled. I hadn't laughed. I kept feeling nothing. A void. But then I would feel this heavy sickness... at random times. It would turn my stomach, and send shivers down my spine."- Rated M for language and adult themes. -VenVan-


**Just a little longer**

A short one-shot for VenVan. Rated M for language and adult themes. Hope you enjoy,

* * *

It was a cold day. Well, almost every day seemed cold these days. This town was hollow. Not the same as I remember it... as a child. A stubborn child...

Why did I do it...? She was innocent, kind. She wanted what was best for me... I was cruel.

I wandered home, drink in my hand, pain in my wrists. I wanted to stop breathing. I wanted to do what everyone else was begging me to do; disappear.

But no- I turn the corner of my street to see Ven sitting in my door step.

Why him? Why now?

My heart stopped. He was biting his lip, not noticing me yet. I took my bottle and threw it in a near by bush. I shoved my hands into my jean's pockets and took short steps towards him. When I was in his line of sight, he still didn't see me. Or maybe he did, but didn't want to.

"...Ven?" I stuttered, towering over him. His head was down, and he didn't respond. The silence was deafening.

"Ventus," I said, sharper.

The dusty blonde teen slowly raised his head and gave a weak smile. "A-are you okay..?" He mumbled.

"Am I..?"

He asked me... if I was alright? How could he ever ask? After what I'd done-

After what I had done...

I don't even remember taking Ventus up to my room, but I did. We sat on the end of my bed, quietly. Ven was rubbing the back of his neck. He kept taking deep breaths, preparing himself to speak, but no words came out.

"Ask me," I blurted out. His sea blue eyes wouldn't look at me, it infuriated me.

"Vanitas..." Ven whispered, sitting still, with his legs crossed, "what did you do?"

I sighed, emotionless. I smirked, sending chills down his spine. I loved seeing him squirm in utter disgust, from the things I would do and say. I leaned back, against my headboard.

I spoke, "Well, she-"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a photograph. A framed photograph of a small, pail, blonde girl, on my desk. Her cheeks were flushed red, embarrassed, full of life.

"...Sh-she..." I stuttered, sitting up. "Oh fuck..." My hand covered my mouth.

"Vanitas-?"

"Wh-what the _fuck_ did I do, Ventus!?" My words were loud, yet muffled, under my hand. My body curled in on its self. I'm not entirely sure if I was covering my mouth to stay quiet or to stop myself from throwing up all over the floor. "Ventus- what the fuck have I done!?"

I felt warm arms wrap around me, "Tell me."

"N-Naminè... I... think I..."

My mind was blocking things out. My mind has always done that.

"I shoved her... right?"

"Yeah. But why?"

"She said... Somethings..."

Ven scooted closer to me. My molten gold eyes starred downwards. "What did she... say?"

 _I remembered her standing by my door, arms lightly folded. Her colbat eyes sincere, only hours ago._

I stumbled to my feet, shaking my head. I repeated the word 'nothing' over and over again. The small boy stayed sat on the bed, his eyes following me. My legs gave out, under me. I fell onto the sand coloured carpet. Ven joined my side. He was silent.

 _I didn't know what was happening to me. I wasn't happy. I hadn't smiled. I hadn't laughed. I kept feeling nothing. A void. But then I would feel this heavy sickness... at random times. It would turn my stomach, and send shivers down my spine._

 _Naminè was helping me try to piece together all the times, to try and make sense of it all. We came to no conclusions... Until, she came to my room earlier._

"I don't know what to do, Ventus," I choked out. I couldn't breathe. The walls were closing in on me.

Ven placed a hand on my shoulder as I ran my fingers through my raven, spiked hair.

"Was she talking to you about what's been going on with you, lately?" He asked. I nodded. "You didn't agree with her?" I shook my head. I was scared that if I made any attempt to make any words, a flurry of tears would accompany them.

Ven twisted himself, so he was sat in front of me. "Not at all..?"

I raised my head.

 _"Y-you fucking what...!?"_

 _"Vani, it was just a... Sorry."_

 _I slammed my fist against the dry wall, busting through it. "It's one thing to say I'm gay, Naminè... But why-" I growled, backing her into a corner, near my bookshelf, "...why would you even drag Ventus into this you... You fucking bitch!"_

 _Her terrified eyes followed my every move. My breathing was rapid. I was pissed, and I mean fucking pissed. Seeing red, I stood over her so close she could feel my breath on her porcelain face._

 _The blonde yelped, "V-Vanitas..!" clutching her school blouse, trying to escape my glare._

Soft... his lips were soft and warm. Both of his hands were caressing each side of my face.

My eyes flashed open. I shoved him away,

"Th-the _fuck_ are you doing!?"

Ven sat back into his comfortable position; legs crossed. I whipped my mouth with my long sleeve. I stared at him. He only blinked at me. I rolled up my sleeves, feeling a dense heat forming inside me. His blank expression was starting to piss me off. But something finally made him react.

"V-Vanitas-?" Ven yelped, raising to his knees and grabbing my arm. I tried tugging my arm back, but he had a tight grip.

"You did it... again!?" He held my left wrist up and shoved it in my face. Faint scars were visible. However, there was two that were fresh, from an hour ago actually.

"No, no, no-! You are _not_ changing the subject!" I snarled, "You kissed me..!"

Ven's mouth hung open for a moment, before crying out, "We were kissing for five minutes, Vanitas... You didn't stop me..."

My eyes widened. I placed my hand on my forehead and turned away. I felt my cheeks burning. I was sweating. The feeling of heavy sickness was back. I turned back, to face him, but his face was already only centimetres away from mine. We stayed there, blinking. Ven leaned forward, his lips ghosting over mine. My heart was in my throat.

I wanted to shove him off me. Run out the room, and lock myself in the bathroom. But... all I could think was that he was taking so _goddamn_ long?

I grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him close enough to reach. I slammed our lips together. He let out a whimper, scared by my sudden movement. He didn't immediately kiss me back, so I placed my hands to the back of his neck, to pull him closer. He began kissing back, slowly.

I pulled back, an inch away. I wanted him to work for it. He had to want this. I straightened my back, gaining height. Ventus' lips and closed eyes followed me. He went onto his knees, as I was taller and he almost couldn't reach me.

"Open your mouth," I commanded.

His azure eyes opened for a brief moment, before obeying me. He leaned forward. I edged back. He opened his eyes, confused; letting out a disappointed moan. A smile formed on my lips.

I stopped torturing the poor boy, placing my lips once again on his. With his lips now open I could allow my tongue to enter. Ven whimpered again, into my mouth, as I kiss him roughly. My eyes opened, slowly. I glanced downwards to see him occasionally rub his knees together, frustrated. I had to stop myself from smiling, before biting down on his lip, firmly. He groaned, in a high pitched manner.

"Such a baby..." I muttered, resuming. I ran my fingers through his dusty blonde hair, with his hands remaining placed gentility on my chest. He used them as a control, in case things became insane and he needed to push me away. I didn't like it. Not at all. He was trying to keep me at bay. My brows furrowed, and my golden eyes opened.

I grabbed his hands, making him break the kiss, and I pushed them behind his back, onto the floor. This forced him to bend backwards, slightly, and allowed me to tower over him. I kept his hands there, with my own. The position may have been uncomfortable for him, but he wouldn't be in this position if he hadn't have kissed me in the first place.

"Vanitas..!" The blonde whined; his control now gone. I could see the fear in his eyes.

To be completely honest, I wasn't sure if her was fearful from nerves or afraid of me causing him harm.

I leaned down to continue our previous actions, but he bowed his head down. I released his left arm, to use mine to lift his head back into reach. He immediately placed his hand back onto my chest. I groaned, gritting my teeth. I pushed more of my weight onto the boy, closing the distance more and more.

This new closeness caused his knees to press against my stomach. He was still grinding his legs, softly. He was desperate. His breaths were becoming rapid. I couldn't ignore them. My pants were becoming increasingly tighter. I didn't want Ventus to think that I could be turned on so easily. I used my free hand to push his left leg down, so now my right leg was kneeling down in between his. He let out a small 'meeping' noise. I kept my hand on his thigh, for a moment, then decided to place it back into his hair. However, as I lifted my hand he pressed his on top, securing its place there. I raised an eyebrow, surprised by his boldness.

I was undoubtedly turned on, but I was good at hiding it. Ven was never good at be subtle about anything.

At this point, Ventus was laying completely on his back, with me kneeling over him. My hand kept his right hand to the ground, near his head. I pecked the corner of his lips and then his jaw-line. He tightened his lips to reduce the sound he was making.

By accident, I brushed my knee into his lower region. He yelped out my name and his head fell back. The tone of his voice, the sound of my name...

"Oh, shit..." escaped my lips.

I could tell Ven was childishly grinning at my weakness. I could feel my dominance slipping away from me. I moved down to his neck; licking and faintly sucking at his skin. His free hand grabbed onto my shoulder. His nails dug into me. Not painfully, which meant I wasn't doing enough.

I bit down into his scarlet flushed flesh. This caused his right leg to jerk upwards, in between my legs. My hands clenched down, in pleasure. The hand that was still holding Vens down was tightly interlocking his.

He let out an raspy sigh, repeating my name. This produced another throaty moan, from me. He began lightly rocking his knee, that was pressed against my lower region.

I whispered, " _F-fuck_..." to myself. Pathetic.

I gritted my teeth again, and rested my head down on Ven's collarbone. My back arched downwards. I needed to get my mind together. My heart was racing. My palms were sweaty.

I had a moment of realisation. This was Ventus, I was doing this with. The innocent, wide-eyed Ven. I had know him for the last seven years, since I was ten and he was nine. I also had the realisation that Ven was... _a boy_. Despite him being caring and in touch with his feminine side, he was a guy. I have never had anything wrong with gay people, but I never thought of the concept of myself being one. I didn't feel this way towards any other guy... Although, the more I thought about it, I never really felt this way towards any girl either.

"V-Ven..?" I murmured out, closing my eyes. My hand left his thigh and I moved it to the ground, as a support. My body felt weak. Was it the alcohol making me feel light headed?

Ventus didn't speak, he only stroked my boney back, with the hand which was on my shoulder. He removed his other hand, from my hold, and cupped my cheek. I rose again, and rested my forehead on his. The tips of our noses touching and our hair mangled together. My Amber orbs starred down into his. I don't remember if we blinked, ever. My stare caused Ven to bite his swollen bottom lip.

All of a sudden, I grabbed his jaw, with my right hand, and kissed him, deeply. I used my thumb to wipe the saliva off his chin. I heared a metallic noise, coming from inbetween us. His hands were thumbling to take my belt off. As he undid the buckle, he started working on my black jean's buttons. I waited for him to finish unbuttoning them, then grabbed both his hands and dragged them to above his head.

His moans were muffled, by my lips, so I moved back down to his neck. I could now hear his sweet, sweet cries of pleasure. I held both of his petite wrists in one hand, to let one free. I reached down to his 'area' and playfully gripped it, for a moment. His entire body tensed. His teeth clenched together. His lower half jerked up towards me.

"Man, could you _be_ any harder?" I chuckled, slowly rubbing his pants.

"Sh...shut up!" he snapped, grinding against my hand. At this point, I started believing that he might not even realise what he was doing. I moved upwards, to his ear, and began nibbling on it. This was a dangerous position for me. If I was to moan again, he would clearly hear it. I undid his beltless jeans, with one swift movement. He sighed at the sudden release. I then remove his high collared black shirt, but not all the way, I stopped when it got over his head. His chest now exposed, I began licking and sucking harshly at the skin that was new to try. I wanted to leave marks on him.

His hands were jolting around, trying to get free, maybe to push me off him. I smirked and looked up at his face. It was damp with tears and saliva. His mouth hung open, but only occasionally making any noise. I released his wrists, to used both my hands to start pulling down his tight jeans.

To my utter surprise, with this freedom, Ven grabbed my shoulders and with such force, he pushed me back against my bedroom wall. He discarded his shirt and, still in shock, removed mine too. He then proceeded to straddle me. I blinked at him, astonished. That's what I got for being too eager.

He placed his hands on each side of my face and kissed me gently. I smoothed my hands up and down his naked back. His fingers glided down my chest, and onto my unbuttoned pants. He grasped onto the waistband and tugged them downwards. I did the same to his, but faster. We didn't look down, our eyes remained closed. Ven's hands began trembling, and he placed them onto the wall behind me, for support. Taking this opportunity, one of my hands dove into his underwear. I held his length, tight. This caused a loud and dry cry into my mouth. I used my other hand to hold his hip down.

Goosebumps formed all over his pale body. I didn't move my hand, which made Ventus' legs start jerking. He broke the kiss and collapsed onto my shoulder. He melted into me, making small mewling sounds,

"St-stop, ah..!"

I hadn't even moved my hand, yet. Although, I thought that I may have caused the boy enough pain, by now.

I glided my thumb onto the tip, rolling it oh-so lightly.

His hands moved to my shoulders, gripping them so unbearably tight, it made me wince. He tried to escape my firm hold, scared by the intense sensation. The combination of: smell, sound and Ven's continuous grinding got me so turned on I became jealous.

Ven's movements became faster and faster. His body was curling in on itself. With every movementmy thumb made, the closer Ven got to being sent over his limit.

"Vanitas... I'm... I f-feel..." he trembled, slowing his grinding down. I sucked down on his collarbone. He repeated my name, in a very shaky voice, seeming terrified. I then removed both of my hands.

Ven didn't make a sound. He merely sunk into my arms. I pecked his forehead, apologetic. I slid down the wall, so my back was on the carpet floor. Ven, still on top of me, could only pant. He then rose, making his back straight. Without breaking eye contact, he grabbed ahold of my weakness. He placed it against his entrance, opening his mouth but not making any noise. I moved my hips upwards, sliding the tip in. His eyes slammed shut. Mine too. It was,

"Tight..!"

"Don't s-say it out loud!"

He rested his hands on my shoulders, for support. He began to drift downwards, as I glided upwards. My teeth were firmly clenched. I made a low groaning noise when I reached more than halfway in. The blonde made no noise, it was beginning to concern me. I moved my hands onto his hips, to help him go down.

Near the end, Ven froze. He went against my hands and started shaking his head.

"Ven? What's wrong?" I asked. I loosened my grip and smoothed over the red nail marks, I had created. He continued to shake his head.

"I can't do it..." He spoke, disheartened, "it...hurts..."

I thought for a moment. Then picked him up, by the ass, and pushed him over onto his back. Simultaneously, I rammed the rest of myself into him. He threw his arms around his neck, and cried hard into my chest. I stayed still, inside him. I then went to kiss him, softly on the forehead but Ven lifted his head to kiss me on the lips instead.

I broke our kiss. I pulled out, slightly, before pushing back in. A bone chillingly loud cry escaped Ven's lips. I gritted my teeth so hard I was afraid I may have broken a tooth. I squeezed my eyes shut. It was unbearably tight. Ventus' breathing was rapid and uneven.

I leaned down and whispered, into his ear, "Does it hurt?"

He nodded, "Don't stop though..." I began moving, at a slow pace. He groaned with every thrust.

I couldn't believe this feeling. Many of my friends has had sex before, and they would always talk about how the first time is awkward and disappointing compared to every other time. If that's true, then I can't see myself ever leaving the bedroom. I have never felt this alive and free before. I felt a heavy and dark burden lift off my shoulders. I couldn't recognise myself, doing this... with a guy, but I have never felt more like myself before. I felt human.

My pace quickened. My hand gripped onto his hip. His legs twitched and jerked around me. My body grew hotter and hotter and my head began spinning. I leaded down and rested my head on his shoulder, which positioned my ear very close to his gasping lips.

I began doing slow, hard thrusts, deep inside him. This made Ven yelp so loud my ears were ringing. It actually hurt a little, so I stopped all together.

"Wh-what?" He cried, legs still unable to stay still.

I sat up straight, and rubbed my ear, "You're so goddamn loud, Ven!"

"...Vanitas..." Ven mumbled, as he reached his hand up to my face and brushed my raven bangs out of my eyes. " _Pl-please_..." He almost silently pleaded.

I scooped his petite body up, and rolled us over. The blonde was now straddling me once again. He could do some work now. His hands rested on my broad chest and his head hung low. Ventus immediately began grinding back and forth, in a steady pace. I placed both hands on each of his thighs, lightly rubbing small circles. He bit his lip again; I hated it. I wanted to be the one who bites his cherry red lips. Swollen red. One of Ven's hands moved from my chest and gasped around my wrist, wanting to stop my actions. His thumb dug incidentally into one of my more fresh scars.

I gasped, "Aah, shit!" and jerked upwards, in pain. His azure eyes widened, starring down at the Crimson water that dripped between his fingers and down his left thigh. He grabbed my wrist, with both hands, applying pressure to the re-opened wound. I turned my head away, my back still laid upon the beige carpet. I think Ven was shouting my name, yelling at me to get up and bandage the thick cut. My golden eyes gazed down to the floor.

I'm not going to lie... It fucking hurt. Not my wrist, so much, but Ven actually seeing the blood. I mean, he's seen my old scars almost a thousand times now. However, I only ever wanted him to see things healing... not getting worse.

Ventus grabbed my other hand and forced it to put pressure onto my wrist. He the proceeded to run out the room, down the stairs and probably into the kitchen. The moment he left I released my hand and laid my hands each side of my body. My vision became blurry. I wasn't scared, or even concerned about how much blood I was even loosing.

"Ven..?" I'm not sure if I spoke his name louder than a whisper.

My eyes rolled upwards, to my dark wooden bookshelf. A majority of the items had fallen from the shelves, onto the floor, when I rammed Naminè into it only hours earlier. I then made my decision.

I rolled onto my knees and shuffled towards the door. I could faintly hear Ven's footsteps rushing up the stairs. I pushed my door closed, turning the lock before collapsing against the door. Ventus' fists pounded against the door and in turn my back.

"Vanitas!? Open the door!"

I chuckled, under my breath. I felt cold.

"Open the door, Vanitas!" He screamed, "Open the fucking door!"

He swore, which forced me to smirk. "Why did I do it?"

He stopped pointlessly punching at the door. It was bitterly silent, for a second. Then he resumed, and repeated my name. I closed my eyes, feeling tired.

"D-don't you fucking _dare_ leave me here..!"

Eyes heavy, I lifted my hand and unlocked the door, reluctantly. He rammed the door open, actually shoving my body along with it, from the amount of force he used. Ven fell to his knees, in front of me, and wrapped a long white cloth around my wrist, almost a hundred times.

"...Why so goddamn dramatic?" I chuckled, with a wide grin plastered across my face.

"You're a fucking dick..!"

"You should swear more often, Ven. You're so sexy when you're angry."

He tied a tight knot at the end of the bandage, then lowered his head. His body trembled, furiously. My hand dropped to the ground, and I looked down at it. He wiped his damp eyes and rose to his feet. He dressed back into his boxers and dark blue jeans. The blue eyed boy left the room, only to return with a bottle of orange juice, a rag and a small bucket filled with water and soap.

He threw the bottle at me, commanding me to drink it. I watched him, silently, as he scrubbed the blood drenched floor.

The drink cleared my head, and brought back enough of my strength to stand and walk over to my bed. I threw on my pants. I laid on my low down mattress and rolled onto my side, facing the wall. The winter day brought a colourless sunset, and the light drained from the sky. The sound of Ven scrubbing my carpet continued for another couple of minutes. He then crawled onto the bed with me, slipping his arm under mine and around my waist. His head pressed against my upper back.

I wearily asked, "Ven..?"

No answer.

"Don't swear again? It'll remind me of today... and I just want to forget."

He sat up, towering over me. A streetlight's glow coming in through the window illuminated his pale skin. "Not the whole day, right?"

I pulled him down, by my hand holding him behind his neck, and planted a kiss on his trembling warm lips. The blond moved his legs to each side of my body and laid on top of me. I grabbed the thin blanket, that had fallen halfway off the bed, and covered his lower back. My fingertips ghosted up and down his still exposed back.

"I won't leave you here, if you don't leave me," I said, without an ounce of uncertainty. He nodded, his breathing slowing, as he drifted off to sleep. I sighed, allowing myself to relax.

I hated myself, as well as most of the town did by now. Although, maybe Ven can fill me with enough love to be willing to stay around a little longer.

 _Just a little._

 _-x-_

 _Note: I hope this is alright... I haven't written in so long now. I was just purely bored._


End file.
